5 problems interracial couples face that threatens to separate them
According to a recent Pew Research Center report, two out of ten black women date white men. In just several years, the share of women saying that dating someone of a different race is good for society has risen from 15 % to 39%. Attitudes about interracial dating are changing as well.
Yet, interracial couples don't have as much of a chance of surviving as other couples, according to the several studies of interracial dating.
Couples from different backgrounds can happen to fall apart due to inability to handle differences, talk about their challenges, their stresses, any other external societal judgment, and prejudice. And the only way to ensure any chance of success is to know what you're up against!
Here are the five difficulties four in five interracial couples faces at some point or another. And know how interracial relationships can succeed despite these challenges.
Crossed wires: Different cultures express separately. It may be difficult to know what our partner may understand, what to say, what to do, and even how to express emotions. What according to you may be good for conveying love, need not be good for your partner. You may think you’re expressing love when he thinks you’re conveying ambivalence. This may happen, whenever you communicate, you end up in a conflict.
You may believe you’ve said enough when your partner wants you to keep talking about it. You may want to cuddle, while your partner needs a while to let the steam evaporate.
These small issues may result in long-term misunderstanding and repeated conflict, and if you don't open up and communicate your feelings, you may hold grudges, which eventually may lead to a split.
Societal judgment: When people of another race or culture comes into a relationship, there are chances that they will experience some stereotyping and rude assumptions.
People will get a chance to make comments about their sex life, their kids, and their taste. Some will think they're applauding you with words like "inspiring."
When you date people of other cultures, the biggest question you will get is, "What do your parents think about it?" You need to be strong enough to reply them and express that your parents don't have any problem with it.
These comments and questions can come from complete strangers. But, it can take a toll on a couple to be under this much scrutiny and can affect their relationship.
Different expectations: Our culture shapes us. When white and black people meet, they have their certain belief systems. You may think you share the same vision and the worldview for your future together when you first fall in love. Yet, the daily grind may soon make us apprehend that you both view things differently. That's why it's so necessary to share your beliefs, histories, and dreams early. It's crucial that two people of different cultures, races, ethnicities or nationalities, decide on guidelines, boundaries, and plans.
Questions like Where will you live? Which holidays will you both celebrate? Will you both bring in income? How will your children be raised-- what schooling, what activities, what faith? should be discussed. Also, talk about cultural differences early: religion, diet, children, finances, family, grief, and yes, especially sex!
Lack of compromise: The biggest enemy to any relationship is the lack of compromise. You have to agree mutually on the little things in order to avoid a conflict. If you can't agree on which cuisine to eat, if he hates your friends, and you hate his family, if you're always arguing over politics or who does the laundry, chances are less than your relationship will stand the test of time. Try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes to understand his opinion. Be compassionate, generous and kind for a day. You can listen instead of talking. And see if he doesn't follow suit. Maybe he won't in future, and that leaves you with a decision about staying or leaving.
The best thing is to know yourself, get to know about your partner, his culture before you commit long-term. Meet each other's family. Introduce your partner to your friends. If people disapprove, and you love each other, ignore them. It’s solely YOUR decision! Just be sure to stand strong in your partnership, because you’ll have to!
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