7 Things People Should Understand About An Interracial Dating Relationship


After all the racism that filled America some years ago, the Anti-miscegenation law has been taken over where interracial dating relationships are once again in the air without any fear of legal persecution. Even though things have changed socially, there is still a lot missing from the conversation that surrounds interracial relationships. There are huge stereotypes, presumptions, and misconceptions about dating someone from another race. I have a friend who said, "I've become more aware of the way in which these stereotypes still dictate the way we think about and even talk about interracial dating." As a black woman dating a white man, my friend has shared what things a person should keep in mind when it comes to an interracial dating relationship:

  • 1. It's Not Just The Black And White (Or Even Straight)
  • Anything that surrounds interracial relationships seems to center on just black and white couples. But according to Linda, my friend, "We should bear in mind that there are a lot of different interracial dating that is not acknowledged at all. Where the black and white dating is famous, but still isn't allowed or appreciated by people in society." Moreover, the idea behind interracial is not always black and white; it can be two same looking people but from different races.

  • 2. It's Not Just About Sex
  • Linda says that "A lot of questions that I receive due to the interracial relationship I am in, hinge on sex. I was once asked by a friend about who had a bigger penis - was it black men or Latino men." Linda felt that these questions only perpetuated the racial stereotypes, which eventually turn the interracial dating into a type of experiment or phase. "While sex is an important part in every kind of relationship, it should not be viewed as the main motivation of an interracial dating or any other relationship.”

  • 3. There's A Fine Line Between Admiration & Fetishization
  • Linda claims that "It is universally wrong to fetishize a romantic partner to the prohibition of respecting them. Anyways, sexualization and fetishization in an interracial relationship is wrong!" She feels that looking for a relationship just because black women are "Freaks" in bed, is just not cool. "The same is in the case of men as well, where at times they are also turned into objects for sexual interests. Admiring the difference in a partner who is black (or even white) is okay. But turning those into things to be sexualized and compartmentalized is not right."

  • 4. Being In An Interracial Relationship Does Not Mean You've Solved Racism
  • Another thing Linda specified is that "There are a lot of people who think that the beauty of an interracial dating couple signifies a better world. But, while dating outside your race demonstrates that you are open-minded, it does not solve the situation of racism." She feels that the growth of the interracial relationship has increased since the past 20 years and it means we have progressed towards accepting these relationships and racial equality. "But there is still a long way to go. Racism hasn't ended yet."

  • 5. No, Black People Who Date White People Do Not Hate Themselves!
  • "The idea that a black person dating a white person is harboring some kind of self-hatred is far too childish. Yes, there are instances where self-acceptance issues are at play, but it is not a hard and fast rule. And no, black women or men who date white people are not doing this for validation or a status. If a person is dating someone out of their race, their blackness has nothing to do with it." Linda exclaims in an irritated behavior.

  • 6. Calm Down - It's Not That Big A Deal!
  • "At the end of the day, it is not a big deal if a person is in an interracial relationship. Some couples do have the issues about what their parents would think or how would they raise their children in two different cultures, but it is not for all. Overall, an interracial relationship is just a relationship, let the couples decide what it means to them without you assuming or claiming things you have no idea about." Says Linda.

  • 7. There is Always Something New To Learn
  • Linda says that "The beauty of a black and white relationship is that there is always something new to learn. The person grows into a better human being. Moreover, the couples who discuss their race makes it even better for both to adjust and grow into each other."

“All in all, interracial dating relationships are not something to hide about or make a big fuss about. It is a normal relationship which is much more beautiful as compared to those who date people who are in their race.” Linda shares. “Be open minded and not a stereotype!”

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